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Definitions

MISTAKE

Something a virgin and a parachutist can only make once.

KLEPTOMANIAC

A snatch thief. Greatly feared by virgins.

VIRGIN MONKEY

A monkey that doesn't allow another monkey to monkey around with her monkey.

ADOLESCENCE

Midway between childhood and adultery.

A DEEP KISS

That's when your tongue is so far down her throat that you can taste the nicotine on your fingers.

VIRGIN WOOL

Wool from a sheep that could outrun the farmer.

OLDER WOMEN

They don't swell, they don't tell and they're grateful as hell.

SLIDING ZIPPER

The last thing a girl hears as a virgin.

HEN PARTY

A bunch of birds clucking about who is laying whom.

RELUCTANT VIRGIN

One who doesn't want to be one.

VIRGINITY

A big issue over a little tissue.

SEMI-VIRGIN

A girl who tried it once and didn't like it.

IMPATIENT VIRGIN

The only hunter who uses herself as bait.

METALLURGIST

A man who can take one look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or common ore.

A LOSER IS...

A guy that has a wet dream and wakes up next morning with V.D.

GAY RANCHERO

A cowhand who rides sidesaddle.

OLD MAID

One who has given up all hope of giving in.

RACIAL PREJUDICE

A pigment of your imagination.

ECSTASY

The feeling you get when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you never felt before.

UPS AND DOWNS

What life is full of. Just ask the new bride.

PYJAMAS

Items of clothing newlyweds place beside their bed in case of fire

PREGNANT

Past tense of virgin.

STORK

A bird that is frequently called to account for misdemeanors which should really be blamed on a lark.

OPTIMIST

A pregnant girl who rubs vanishing cream on her tummy.

MOTHER'S DAY

Nine months after Father's Day.

SUSPICION

When your beautiful new wife has forty-six towels in her hope chest - each from a different hotel.

PREGNANT

A woman all swelled up over her mate's handiwork.

QUADRUPLETS

When one goes into one, one time, and there's four to carry.

Categories: Unclassified