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Netaholics Anonymous

You think "surfing" is something you do on dry land.
You find yourself staring at your "inbox" waiting for new e-mail to arrive.
You communicate with people on other continents more than you do with your own neighbors.
Your business cards contain your e-mail address.
You promise yourself that you'll only stay online for another 15 minutes ...at least once every hour.

You cut classes or miss work so you can stay home and browse the web.
Everyone you know asks why your phone line is always busy.
When you get home from a long day, you turn on the computer before the air conditioner or the television.
You religiously respond to immediately to e-mail, while ignoring your growing pile of snail mail.
You sit down at the computer right after dinner and your spouse says "See you in the morning."
Your kids start referring to you as "that guy in front of the monitor."
You're constantly yelling at your wife for using the phone for stupid things...like talking.
You consider selling drugs to pay for your online charges.

You think more about being online than you do about sex.
You actually do sell drugs to pay for your online charges.
You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just so you can have the free internet access.
At parties, you introduce your spouse as your "service provider."
Your wife melts your keyboard in the oven.
Your husband has his lawyer deliver the divorce papers via e-mail.
Your computer costs more than your car.

You find yourself counting emoticons to get to sleep.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
Someone asks you where you live and you reply with your IP address.
When everybody else uses the greeting "how are you?" and you use the greeting "where would you like to go today?"
Your sig line is "Anonymous."

From: Phil Swisher

Categories: Computers