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You Might Be A Physics Major If

• You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
• You enjoy pain.
• You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
• You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• When you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
• It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
• You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
• You always do homework on Friday nights.
• You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
• You think in "math."
• You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
• You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
• You have a pet named after a scientist.
• You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
• The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
• You can translate English into Binary.
• You can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
• You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
• You are completely addicted to caffeine.
• You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
• You consider ANY non-science course "easy."
• When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
• The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
• You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
• You understood more than five of these indicators.
• You make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

By Jason Lisle

Categories: Unclassified